I used to think it was better to bottle up my feelings, because it was the best way of dealing.
Curled up in my bed staring at the ceiling, instead of letting go and let my wounds get healing.
I was told if i hid my pain it will be for my own gain but all it did was drain me.
Then i came to a realization that I am God’s creation. He said i will have tribulation but it’ll be for a little duration.
Because he overcame the world i am free from condemnation. So i will no longer restrain these feelings but rather release and feel peace.
It’s okay to cry I’m human not super human so if that’s what i must do to move on and smile I would and accept it as my new Lifestyle.
i’m over it, not anymore, I’m better now those words have become too familiar because I’ve said them too many times trying to convince myself i was delivered.
Tears I’ve wept those same reasons have crept like all i did was neglect when truly they never left. It feels like my suppressed truth won’t let me be who i want to be, won’t let me grow the way i want to, won’t let me experience true happiness the way I’ve always pictured it because all I feel is on the surface not from within.
I keep striking out when I know i am the one who needs healing. Somehow my past have intertwined with my future leaving me feeling like i need to be sutured. I feel like i am broken in a thousand pieces needing some adhesive.
Might sound just a little redundant but I know that one physician who is there for me in abundance even though half the time I feel like i have been abandoned.
This might seem a bit random but who says the things from the past never comes back to haunt you?